Three evil words

One thing I have noticed since moving to Belfast and embarking in the world is that people, work colleagues and the like, see themselves and each other as a threat and will, at every opportunity, try to shift blame or withdraw from working. Bitch Troll for example, got a new flatbed scanner (to scan her many shades of vert) which came with instructions, instalation disks, all the required leads yet she still wanted to wait 2 days before someone came out to install it.


It’s because we continually use the three most evil words in the English language. Health and Safety.

The binmen won’t empty a bin if the lid is half an inch from being closed completely. Why will they not empty it, “Health and safety mate.” It takes two people to use a ladder in a supermarket. People take a fifteen minute tea break for every hour they use a computer, even if they spend half that hour glancing at Heat magazine, because health and safety regulations say that their eyes will hurt. Baggage handlers in airports, people paid to handle and move your luggage, will not move it unless it has wheels.

Bitch Troll, did not want me installing herour scanner because health and safety regulations state that a qualified technician must be paid to come at a time convenient to him (which means my lunch hour), install software, link it up to all the computers, arse about for half an hour so he can claim for two and then make some nonsensical comment about programmes not being compatible with the firewall that conflicts with the port sockets.

Does anyone else have any really stupid health and safety stories?


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